Headline supersubstance identified as Guillemot Kryptonite
The BBC has granted us a window into another side of the Headline Superheroes with a marvellous exposé. Check out this headline superthing:

Thanks for the clarification, Beeb. If only they’d identified that substance as something other than oil substance, that headline might have had some substance. Oh, wait:
Plymouth University said it was a form of polyisobutene (PIB), which was used as a lubricating additive in oils to improve performance.
No words in that sentence are more descriptive than ‘substance’ nor of similar length. Apart from ‘additive’. And ‘lubricant’.
It’s a shame that this event wasn’t live-blogged, so that we could have watched the development of this headline in real time:
- Seabird deaths caused by seabird death causer
- Seabird deaths caused by unidentified seabird deaths substance
- Seabird deaths substance ‘identified’ as ‘substance’
- Seabird deaths substance ‘identified as oil substance’
- Seabird deaths substance identified as oil substance ‘identified as oil additive’
- Seabird deaths substance identified as oil additive identified as polyisobutene
- Seabird deaths oil additive lubricant substance ‘identified’ as Richard III
The BBC has granted us a window into another side of the Headline Superheroes with a marvellous exposé. Check out this headline superthing:
Thanks for the clarification, Beeb. If only they’d identified that substance as something other than oil substance, that headline might have had some substance. Oh, wait:
Plymouth University said it was a form of polyisobutene (PIB), which was used as a lubricating additive in oils to improve performance.
No words in that sentence are more descriptive than ‘substance’ nor of similar length. Apart from ‘additive’. And ‘lubricant’.
It’s a shame that this event wasn’t live-blogged, so that we could have watched the development of this headline in real time:
- Seabird deaths caused by seabird death causer
- Seabird deaths caused by unidentified seabird deaths substance
- Seabird deaths substance ‘identified’ as ‘substance’
- Seabird deaths substance ‘identified as oil substance’
- Seabird deaths substance identified as oil substance ‘identified as oil additive’
- Seabird deaths substance identified as oil additive identified as polyisobutene
- Seabird deaths oil additive lubricant substance ‘identified’ as Richard III
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