Crackers crackers exploding jokes

’Tis the season to deconstruct jollity and so, filled with Christmas spirits, may we present our selection of post-modern cracker jokes. Merry Winterlight from Headline Superheroes!

What did the cold penguin say to the other cold penguin?
Wark.

What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
A dead duck and no presents.

Why isn’t this joke funny?
Because this is the punchline.

What is longer than a snake and shorter than a mouse?
Fatal error, invalid integer operation.

Why is Santa good at chess?
Because pawn king rook knight. Bishop.

What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Implication.

What’s black and white and red all over?
A hypercube.

What did Mr and Mrs Christmas call their first child?
Malcolm.

What did the Daily Mail reader give her family for Christmas?
Unwelcome opinions.

What did Kim Jong-il give Colonel Gaddafi for Christmas?
Nothing. He was a Communist.

What did the man find in his Christmas cracker?
This joke.

What do you get if you eat all the Christmas decorations?
Sectioned.

How do they celebrate the birth of Christ at Hogwart’s?
They don’t. He’s fictional.

Written by Statto and Tom

December 25, 2011 at 20:11

Posted in uncategorised

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