The stand-off between former UK border agent Brodie ‘No Rogue Officer’ Clark and Home Secretary Theresa ‘Dave’s Full Confidence’ May has dragged on for weeks over whether or not the relaxing of draconian border controls was deliberate, permitted, extended, legal, chocolate-flavoured, and/or inspired by health and safety concerns. Now, the two combatants have apparently become locked in a battle of meta-surprise, with May’s opening volley of shock being met with a stern riposte from Clark who, according to the Beeb, was ‘surprised May unaware’.
It seems that Clark said that May said that he knew, but he didn’t know that she said that, so when she did say that about him, he was rather shocked. However, she wasn’t expecting that, she said, but Clark fully expected her not to expect to be surprised. Meanwhile, beneath cover of this interminable dullness, between zero and twenty million Muslims have entered the UK unfrisked, and up to 175,000 terrorisms have occurred.